The language of love – long debated and discussed – is simpler than you may think. According to Dr Gary Chapman, author of ‘The Five Love Languages’, understanding how you and your partner communicate their love can span a range of different routes, or languages if you will.
Perhaps you get a buzz from being given compliments on how you look, or simply being reassured by an ‘I love you’. Or is it when your partner goes out of their way to do something for you – picking you up from the station late at night, or doing the household chores without you asking? Are you confused when you may do the above and it seemingly goes unappreciated? It’s all down to our love languages, which if they don’t match, can cause a ‘love tank’ deficit.
Based on Chapman’s theory, there are five main languages; words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch and gifts. We each have a pre-disposition to one or two of these as our main languages and it affects both how we communicate and receive love. If your mate is not speaking your love language, you may feel unappreciated and at worst, unloved, despite them possibly believing they are showing you love, albeit in another language. Let us look deeper…
Words of Affirmation
Building someone up with encouraging words and verbal compliments are powerful communicators of love. The need to feel appreciated is a basic human need, and those who speak the words of affirmation will never be short of saying loving things, but they also need to hear that too, as it’s the language they understand best – quite literally.
Surely everyone likes presents? Well for some it’s more important than others. A gift is a very tangible expression of affection, and chosen well it can show how much someone cares; gift givers tend to be good at picking up on cues from their partner, such as remembering a particular necklace or watch they may have remarked on in a jewelers window. In fact, it tends to be more about how the giver thought of their partner rather than the gift itself that reflects love in this language.
Acts of Service
Are you one of those people who adores doing things for others, and consequently really appreciates it when others do things for you? It may well be that Acts of Service is your love language. From something as simple as taking the bins out, to elaborate expressions of affection such as organizing a surprise party, this is a surefire way to keep an Acts of Service lover happy. Actions really do speak louder than words.
It can go without saying that physical touch is a way of communicating love, but it doesn’t come naturally for some. For those with this as their primary love language, they will be very affectionate and need hugs, kisses, and tend to hold hands when out and about together. Even brief touches such as a goodbye kiss each morning will mean the world to them.
Spending time with your partner is usually a given in most relationships, but how focused are you on each other during that time? Those who speak primarily in ‘Quality Time’ crave undivided attention from their loved one – not time shared with a TV or tablet. Doing something together, whether walking the dog, going out for a meal or just agreeing to a device free evening will really satisfy those with a need for your time. This can be a demanding love language but commit to it and it will reap rewards.
Become fluent in your partner’s love language….
At Jardin Blanc, you can show your partner you really love them with the gift of flowers – a whole garden full of them! If their love language is gifts, this is the ideal present, and if quality time is their thing, this is a whole morning or afternoon or evening or even the whole day of focused you two time.
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